


Abnur Tharn: Dad of the Year(?)

by lyssajanet



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Family Bonding, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 16:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20696213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyssajanet/pseuds/lyssajanet
Summary: The Vestige is confronted with the fact that soon she will have to choose one of her Companions to die in order to save the world. She's already condemned so many to death by her own decisions, watched so many people she cared for be taken away from her. She can't anymore. They can't ask this of her. It's too much.Surprisingly, the only person who notices something is wrong with the Vestige is her father. And as much as he does not like her (or at least claims to), he has to do something. To protect the family name, of courseAKA Te'a has a panic attack and Tharn helps her get through it all.





	Abnur Tharn: Dad of the Year(?)

**Author's Note:**

> Te'a is Abnur's daughter. Niriel is her twin sister who is not the Vestige. Neither of the girls knew who their father was until about halfway through the main quest of ESO. Tharn did not know of their existence.   
Te'a had only been with Raz romantically for a few months.   
And yes Te'a was convinced she was in love with Mannimarco and that they were meant to be as a result of her brain trying to protect her from the trauma of being kidnapped and tortured by the Worm Cult (but only we know that, dear reader).   
Story takes place between Moonmont and Dune. Most early dialogue is taken directly from the game.

“Getting all chummy with Titanborn? I enjoy the company of clever, well informed people. You should try it some time.” Sigh. Father– Abnur was always like this. She had just made ground in earning Lyris’ friendship after months of the half-Nord having nothing but disdain for Te’a, necromancer Vestige infatuated with the enemy, only for Abnur to brush it all aside. And besides, being clever and well informed pretty obviously meant ‘not Te’a’. “So, you felled the great Mannimarco. Well played. You've done the Empire a great service.”

That wound wasn’t even a month old. She killed him because he was actively attempting to kill her. She had little choice besides accept her fate and die. “You know that’s not why I-”

“The farmer doesn't thank the cow when it voids itself on the field, but it still makes the crops grow taller,” he interrupted, still posturing with his hands clasped behind his back. Even talking to her, his own daughter, and he performed the role.

Te’a squinted in confusion, trying to decipher meaning from his words. “Is… is that supposed to be a thank you?” Life was so much easier when people didn’t speak in metaphors.

“I suppose it is.” Score one for Te’a. “But that wasn't the reason for this heartwarming reunion. Varen and I have spoken at length since you recovered the Amulet, and determined our final course of action. Molag Bal remains a threat and Tamriel is still in grave danger.” Well that much she knew. But making plans wasn’t really a Te’a thing. She just followed orders and killed stuff. She was good at killing stuff, or at least good enough that she hadn’t died. Okay well that was a lie, she had died many times, and come back after each one. She hadn’t permanently died at least.

“Soooo what are we supposed to do?”

“First, the Planemeld must be stopped. Even now, forces gather and plan an assault on Oblivion itself. You must join them,” he answered, unbreakably calm at the concept of storming Coldharbour.

She’d heard whispers among the Eyes. Ayrenn was planning something, but what, she didn’t know. Te’a had been a little busy with other stuff lately, like saving the Dominion. “What then?”

“Then, and only then, can you take the fight to Molag Bal himself–to restore protection to Nirn and reclaim your soul.” No pressure or anything.

It had all seemed so far off and distant – the endgame plan. Retrieving the Amulet of Kings seemed like child’s play compared to what had to come next. They had to take on an actual daedric prince.  _ She _ had to take on a daedric prince. How exactly was she, a once no-name Bosmer mage, supposed to take on the forces of Oblivion?

“Can we really defeat Molag Bal?” she tried to keep the nerves out of her voice, not wanting to appear weak in front of her father again. 

“I know more about the Daedra than any man or mer alive. For good or ill, my –  _ our _ family,” her heart skipped a beat in shock at that, “has always kept ties with the forces with the forces of Oblivion, and this much I know: one cannot kill a Daedric Prince.” Then Te’a felt her stomach drop. Was all of this for naught? “But we have the Amulet of Kings.”

A flicker of hope, even if she didn’t understand why. “Yeah?” she drew out.

“With the Amulet of Kings in our possession, we may be able to wound him. Severely. And in the process, force him to relinquish every last soul he has stolen – including your own. This is where your... condition works to your benefit.”

“My what-? Oh right.” That. Her soul. Or lack thereof.

Abnur continued on. “The ritual we performed with the Amulet of Kings caused the Soulburst and damaged the veil between worlds. If the damage is to be repaired, I must attempt the ritual again, this time with you.”

Gears turned in her head as she tried to figure out what about that sentence was off. “Why wouldn’t the same thing that happened last time happen again? The uhm…” she tried to remember the word, swearing he had just said it, “Soulburst.” It was a simple observation, but Te’a still felt proud.

“It would only happen if we use it here on Nirn.” Of course, once again Abnur knew more about Oblivion than she did. “But if we were to travel to Coldharbour, we might be able to harness its power. Imbue you with divine agency enough to challenge the Daedric Prince.” The entire idea was terrifying to even think of, but it was better than having no plan and no way to win. “But there is a price…”

“What is it?” Te’a knew that as a hero, she should be willing to accept whatever the cost of saving the world might be. But by the gods, if she was not filled with dread at the thought of whatever it could be.

“Calling upon the power of the Amulet in this manner will consume someone's soul. Utterly. One cannot channel the power of the gods without paying such a price.” She was about to say something about accepting her soulless fate (despite just barely accepting it), when he continued, “Unfortunately, you don't have a soul to consume, and I am needed to perform the ritual.”

The last puzzle piece fell into place. It wasn’t just about souls. It was about lives. “ _ Someone has to die _ ?!” she squeaked out, significantly louder than the conversation had been.

He ignored her outburst. “More specifically, one of our three companions. I suspect that's why they're so nauseatingly over-appreciative and fawning.” He stuck his nose up at that.

Varen. Lyris. Sai. Her friends. Her Companions. One of them had to die. Another person she cared about had to die.  _ She _ had to be responsible for their death. “No. No no no no that’s too much. The price is too high.” Te’a stumbled back, staring at the ground with wide unfocused eyes. The room spun, and her heart raced.

“Of course it is. The fact of the matter stands however. One of the five must give their life to fuel this attack, when the time… comes.” His voice cut off at the end, sounding different.

“So you said–” Te’a heard Lyris say before all she could hear was white noise. She looked out at the others, her three companions of which one she would have to condemn to death. Her mind felt fuzzy, just barely within her body and about to leave when a hand placed itself on her shoulder and held on, gently but firmly, grounding her. A quick moment of clarity allowed her to look up and over to her left at Abnur, where it was clear to her that it was him, but the angle of their bodies prevented the other three from seeing.

He glanced down at her, but his face remained impassive, appearing to be still be listening to the three ‘debate’ and occasionally piping up to contribute his own banter. Not that she could hear or understand it. The white noise had faded, her heartbeat no longer pounded in her ears, but the words still sounded like gibberish to her.

It was Varen’s voice that was the first to sound again like the common tongue. “That’s enough. This won’t be decided here and now. Vestige, come here. I have some final words for you.”

“Actually, I need a word with the Vestige, now.” Te’a felt herself being pushed forward and back around by the hand on her shoulder, leading her toward the exit to the Harborage.

She heard Lyris growl out a “Tharn–” but Abnur kept moving the two of them forward until the bright light of Magnus shone in both their eyes. The sound of waves crashed distantly down on the shore, bells ringing down at the harbor. At first, the flora of the Summerset Isles was unfamiliar and alien to Te’a, surrounded by the Valenwood and all the life it gave. But the more time she spent here, the more comforting it felt. Auridon truly was gorgeous.

“Would you care to explain what that was about?” Abnur asked after giving them both several moments of silence to change the scene. He stepped away from Te’a but kept his arms out from behind his back It gave him an entirely different aura.

Te’a still felt… out of it. Her brain, unable to remember what she had been thinking about earlier, stuck racing laps around a looping track at full speed, never getting anywhere but never stopping. She felt mostly returned to her body, albeit some strange feelings still present made even stranger by their unknown cause. The butterflies still in her stomach, heart still racing, cotton still in her mouth, but paused. It wasn’t like being in a cave made things better. There was something about caves that made her nervous ever since Coldharbour, but if she ever tried thinking about it, that same sensation would start up and she would have to stop herself. Better to let that just be strange discomfort and leave it at that. “What… what?” She didn’t know either. In front of her, her fingers fidgeted, toying with themselves unnoticed by her but not by the other.

Abnur sighed, exasperated. “Your panic attack? Ringing any bells in there? Regardless of whatever caused it, you’re not going to be useful until you get it out.” Silence. “Go on, I’ll even look the other way.”

“Huh?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you, Te’a?” he sounded awfully frustrated, startling Te’a. “This is clearly about more than just one of our companions having to sacrifice themselves.” There. Sacrifice. Whatever it was that had paused earlier came back full force, throwing off the lid and opening the floodgates. Her eyes unfocused and she stumbled back into a tree.

Mannimarco, Raz, Shazah. So many deaths that she could have prevented if she just tried harder, if she had just been faster, stronger, smarter. She could have saved Mannimarco from himself, gotten to Senalana before Raz and retrieved the circlet before he went and trapped himself, done something to keep both the twin manes alive. She didn’t even know what she could have done, but certainly there was something, she was just too stupid to figure it out. That’s all she ever was. The pretty and stupid to Niriel’s strong and clever.

The thought of having to send another person, another friend, to their death to save the world while she would get to go on living, it was too much. They couldn’t ask this of her. Not again. Her hands rose and gripped her hair at the scalp, breath quickening and shortening into hyperventilations, eyes widening and filling with fear. She tried to get her breathing under control, but it slipped further and further away. Panic at that began to arise at that as well. The first tears broke, coating her long lashes and smudging whatever dark makeup she had left on from earlier in the day. She squeezed her eyes shut and choked out a sob. Another. And another.

Choking gasps racked her tiny frame, causing her to pull and squeeze the grip on her hair even harder. Ground. Grounded. She needed the ground. She still had control on her legs, and lowered herself to sit on the dirt, legs pulled up and chest bent forward into a fetal position. They couldn’t ask her to do this. She saw Khali and Shazah, begging her not to let the other sister sacrifice herself, and saw Lyris, Sai, and Varen all trying to convince her why the others should not suffer. Raz as he spoke of duty to the cause, to the Dominion, and the nobility of the one of the three giving up their life to save the world. Even Mannimarco, tortured and suffering, and how surely whoever she picked to die would feel that same pain.

No, no. Too much. She couldn’t make herself think anymore. The only things she could feel were the involuntary gasps of inhalation, how her jawline now dripped with tears, the ache of her scalp from gripping at her hair to the point of nearly tearing it out and the ache in her head as her breaths came shorter and shallower, the nausea resting high in her stomach that threatened to burn at her throat–

“Alright that’s enough, you’re going to make yourself sick if you don’t sit up.” Another voice. Another person there? Oh right, father. She looked up, face still open and raw with emotion, and through her tears saw him kneeling at her side. “There you go, up up, keep your hands on your head, but do stop ripping your hair out. Don’t want to do something you’ll regret later.” Unconsciously, her hands loosened their grip on her hair, now just gently resting on top of her head. The jerking gasps seemed larger, felt louder when sitting up, but she could also feel the air returning to her body now. With her hands on her head, her chest could actually expand again. She felt the last few tears drip off her chin and those that still stained her face had almost entirely dried. “Focus on your breathing. When you can speak, speak.”

In, and out. In, and out. Surely it should be that easy. But no, the involuntary gasps still had control over her. She would begin one breath in, only to have it taken from her.

“I’m–” hiccup, “so–” hiccup “rry.” She couldn’t even do that much.

Nothing. Whether that was disapproval or not, Te’a didn’t know. But even if it was, he didn’t leave in disgust at her being unable to even breathe properly. She kept trying, and eventually felt able to get out at least a few words at a time.

“How – did you know?” Almost.

Abnur huffed. “You think I haven’t dealt with this before with my own girls? Not all of us come out of the womb perfectly composed politicians.” He slowly and almost creakily stood up in a very good impression of a man his age. “The trick is learning how to hide it in front of others, and how to deal with it when the appropriate time comes. You’re still a Tharn, but you have a lot to learn if you insist on our relationship being public knowledge. I will not have you embarrassing me or the family name because you couldn’t contain an episode.

“You’re not leaving this island until we both know exactly what set you off, but we’ll have to wait until after you are reunited with your soul before you can learn what it really takes to be a Tharn.” He held out a hand to her and pulled her up when she automatically grabbed at it. Her mind was elsewhere, thinking about the source of her ‘episode’. 

She’d felt her stomach drop at the idea of telling him, her reluctant father, what was making her so upset - of all the tragic events that had transpired in less than a month. But then, she realized she wasn’t actually nervous. She felt… fine, really. Raz, the twin manes, even Mannimarco. They still hurt, but the thought of them didn’t send her spiraling like they had earlier. Why?

“Feeling better?” Abnur asked as he sat back on a nearby rock. “A few of my girls said they always felt more level minded after a good cry. Now, you can either tell me now or later, but know the sooner we get this over with, the sooner you can get back to saving your precious Dominion.”

And so she did. She told him about Razum-dar and her relatively new relationship with him, abruptly cut short before it really began.

About Khali and Shazah and how she’d taken comfort with them after losing her ‘partner’ and how she had to look into the eyes of the twin mane she saw so much of Niriel in, and tell the other to sacrifice herself. 

About Mannimarco and how she wished there was some way to save him from himself. 

She knew none of the other four Companions would understand the last one, but she had to get it out. Besides, Abnur would probably know if she was concealing anything else (he was eerily good at that), but not once during her rambling explanation had he spoken up beyond the occasional “go on,” when she hesitated. 

When it was all laid out on the table and still he did not speak, Te’a began to fill with worry once again. Was he judging her? Was her explanation not valid enough to warrant the reaction she’d had? Did he not believe her?

The word slipped out before she could contain it. “Well?”

Abnur’s eyebrow raised. “What? Did you expect some valiant reassurance that none of it was your fault? That you’re not to blame? Or that everything is going to be just fine? Vesti- Te’a,” he stressed her name, a name she only rarely heard come from his lips, “There’s no point in wallowing over could-have-beens in the past. You either let it consume you, or you persevere. And since this world rather needs you,” he stood up, not looking at her anymore, “you don’t have the luxury of the former.”

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but Te’a knew it was what she needed to hear. 

“If you somehow miraculously survive this,” he continued, “Then you can take the time to deal with everything that’s happened. Until then…” Abnur trailed off, ending with a sigh and looking her over. “Varen awaits. You look composed enough that they shouldn’t ask too many questions, but if they do, say nothing.”

Te’a bristled at the idea of keeping things from her friends, but ultimately did not want to retell everything once again to all of them. Abnur might have been able to keep any judgments to himself, but Lyris and Sai? She’d just made ground with them and didn’t want to lose it right before she had to choose someone to die. 

And so with a large sigh, Te’a felt herself reset, both mentally and physically. “Okay.” She stood, brushed off her full-length skirt, and returned to the Harborage with her father, feeling like something had changed between the two of them. 

**Author's Note:**

> catch me @ partyatsanguines on tumblr where i post a lot about the Thwins and roast abnur tharn for being a slut


End file.
